I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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