hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's get the cat blown out
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
