He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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