Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
