He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
