At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize