my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize