She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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