Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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