Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
organizing the empties. That sober.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
