i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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