so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
