I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
