Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Im part way to drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
