you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
