He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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