There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
ttyl tear gas
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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