So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
