You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
