I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
