Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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