I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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