So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
