What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
