We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize