He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
