I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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