Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
