so explain again why im purple
no
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
