WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
