Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned