the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
