Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Swine flu is the new snow day.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
