When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
