I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When are your genitals available?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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