I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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