This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
