If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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