I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Farmville is her only friend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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