I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
