Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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