She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
