You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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