Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize