...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
