Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
