So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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