Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
