were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
