Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
