The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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