his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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