Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
