Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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