we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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