So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
