This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
