Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
