is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
