so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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