Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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