me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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