How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
