If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
