I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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