I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
