is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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